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Buttergarlicspread!

"What do you mean 'added chemicals to induce addiction leading to over-consumption'? This is my grandma's grandma's recipe! Drugs? Definitely not." -BGS Inc. president

It's not quite butter, and it's definitely not garlic, but the strange yellow herbal paste that smells of onions and milk known as Butter Garlic Spread! (exclamation point officially included) is a yummy-in-my-tummy somewhat mealy and occasionally gritty spread that makes anything savory taste savor-i-er, and gives you that mm-mm-good pizazz to all camp-cooked meals. A favorite of lowly bandit and high lord alike, you haven't lived until you've consumed about a pound of Butter Garlic Spread!! Even though there's some bad press floating around, people can't seem to stop eating the stuff, which is odd, because BGS Inc. insists there are definitely, definitely not highly addictive chemicals used liberally in Butter Garlic Spread!'s preparation. Definitely not.


Assumed RecipeEdit

Discovered by the stalwart investigating of the Christian Science Monitor, an advanced probable formula for Butter Garlic Spread!'s recipe has been released, much to the chagrin of the BGS Inc. president, who admits to attempting tastes of competitors, but claimed it to be missing "that special something".

Here is what we know to be a likely copycat formula:

Garlic Butter Spread(?)

20 large butts/bulbs of garlic (use 22 if butts are small [but never 21])

1/2 cup of table salt

2 teaspoons black crude

8 pounds of butter, room temperature after two days on the back porch

1 sprig of finely minced parsley

1 all-pepper

definitely not drugs

10 cups of yellow water


Known side effects of over consumption include:Edit

  • diarrhea
  • violent diarrhea
  • vomiting
  • projectile vomiting
  • loss of hearing
  • fingertips turning blue
  • spontaneous combustion
  • death



Notable quotes associated with Butter Garlic Spread!:Edit

"Drugs? Definitely not." -BGS Inc. president

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